Don't You Just Hate it When . . . (The Sequel)

Pet peeves. Yeah, we’ve all got ‘em. But there’s something supremely exhilarating about getting those nagging, bothersome things off your chest every now and then—it’s like swatting away that pesky little gnat that keeps hovering around your face.

Far be it from me to hold hostage any pent-up, negative frustrations, allowing them to fester deep within my very being and turn me into a cynical hag. That’s why I’ve updated my list (see the previous list HERE) of food-related pet peeves!

These are the silly little things in the food world that irk me. Some drive me to drink while others are just a slight annoyance that won’t really alter the spin of the earth on its axis. Either way, these are the gnats that I’m swatting…

Don’t you just hate it when . . .

. . . popular restaurants don’t accept reservations?

. . . waiters try to snatch your plate away from you before you’re finished eating? [Did I miss something? Is there a shortage of plates back in the kitchen or something?]

. . . your drink of choice arrives at the table with a lemon wedge already dunked in the liquid instead of on the side? [Where has that lemon been? Who’s grimy fingers have been touching it? What manner of filthy germs has invaded that lemon peel?]

. . . you open a jar of peanut butter and there’s a three-inch oil slick floating at the top? [I know, I know… it’s usually a sign of natural peanut butter that isn’t loaded with hydrogenated oils and transfats, but still…]

. . . any cooking appliance infomercial invades your TV screen, especially when they announce you only have “X” minutes left to get in on that great deal?

. . . waiters/waitresses don’t properly pronounce the name of the dish they’re talking about—bruschetta, challah, pho, etc.?

. . . someone belches loudly while eating and doesn't acknowledge it? [Really? Is the frat-boy mentality that ingrained in you that the tendencies of adulthood haven't kicked in yet?]

. . . someone swears they hate broccoli, onions, lima beans, scallops, {   fill in the blank   }, etc. yet they’ve never even tried it? [There are a lot of foods that my palate simply has not developed a gourmand-frenzied taste for; but at least I had the guts to try things before dismissing them.]

. . . the busboy whips out a bottle of noxious cleaning fluid, wields it like a weapon and begins to furiously spray the table next to you…while you’re trying to enjoy your meal?

. . . fresh vegetables that morph from a vibrant yellow, red, green or orange to a sludgy brown the day after you buy them?

. . . you watch an episode of “Down Home With the Neelys” on the Food Network and you’re not under duress, the TV isn't stuck on that one channel or there’s not a TEC-9 pointed at your head? [Come on—all that smiling, grinning and “baby” this ‘n that—nobody can be that damn happy in the kitchen all the time!]

. . . someone tries to force, shame, cajole or guilt you into eating something you know you don’t like? [Hey, we’re all adults, right? We know what our palates desire. If I say mushrooms don’t float my boat, trust me, sautéing them in butter, spreading them on top of a turkey burger or dipping them in 24K gold won’t make me suddenly develop a taste for them.]

This dirty dozen list represents just a few of my food-related pet peeves. But wait…there’s more! So what bugs you in the wonderful world of food?