Friday, July 20, 2012

Kudos for Taking a Stand . . . Even if it's a Stupid One

Photo: Mackenzie Keegan

So there’s this food truck in NYC . . . 666 Burger (a/k/a Satan’s Burger; hey, I didn’t name it “666” – uh, that’s the mark of the beast, ya know…they’re the ones who say “The burgers are so delicious they’re evil.”), and they concocted this hideous creation called the “Douche Burger.”

To be honest, I’m appalled that I’m even giving up prime blogging real estate for this, but I found the story funny . . . in an asinine, sophomoric sort of way, that is.

Call the burger the “anti-rich-establishment” burger, if you will, but these guys over at 666 Burger decided that they had just about had enough of all of the over-dressed, froufrou burgers and decided, in protest, to create this ridiculous Douche Burger. It’ll only set you back a mere $666.00.

Yeah, I placed the decimal point in the right place. Here again is the mark of Satan. Pay $666 for this monstrosity and Lucifer will come and snatch your ever-lovin’ soul . . . I’m just sure of it. But what I’m surer of is that this burger has got to taste profoundly awful. Here’s why:

It’s an alleged Kobe patty stuffed with foie gras (man, those folks out in California would have a field day with this). Next, it’s topped with champagne-steamed and melted Gruyere cheese along with truffles, lobster and caviar. Add to that Kopi Luwak coffee beans barbecue sauce and wrap it all up in a gold leaf wrapper andviola! you’ve got yourself one $666 Douche Burger.

Dis. Gust. Ing.

Allegedly only one person has ever bought the damn thing, and it’s no wonder. Did you just read that description above?!?

One big joke...and maybe they're laughing all the way to the bank!
Yeah, it’s one big joke – their way of poking fun at, well, I guess, the food industry and the people who fall head first into these trendy trends of food buffoonery. So in a way they’re making a point. Albeit a stupid one. But it did make me laugh. In a stupid way. And here’s the rub. All of those high-end ingredients that they use on that exceedingly expensive burger? It’s a stab at the sort of foodstuffs that the general public would associate with the obnoxiously rich. Gee, if I had a dime for every $666 dollar burger I coulda’ eaten . . .

I think 666 Burger thrives on being, uh, uber-anti. Their Company Overview on their Facebook page (what?!? no website yet?!? tsk tsk tsk….) is laced with the f-bomb. It’s okay . . . I wouldn’t be eating their words anyway (but let’s hope their burgers are as good as their mouths are big).

Kobe beef . . . NOT!
Well more power to ‘em. In a sick and sordid kind of way, I admire them. This is their soapbox issue. So what if they’ll actually make a stupid burger if someone actually orders it (which, by the by, might be a bit difficult to do as authentic Kobe beef is not available outside of Japan. Seriously.). The person dumb enough to buy it and then have the gonads to actually eat it deserves to blow $666 for the bragging rights to say “I ate it!”

It just won’t be me. Or anyone I know personally.

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